The texts tonight regarding possessions month were the final
straw in my conviction to send this email. We’ve all been quiet these past
weeks and there has been a lot going on. On my end, after a lot of prayer and
thought about this, I think I need to admit that this is just not the season
for me to devote myself to 7. I suppose this email is simply confession time.
God has used these books and conversations with all of you in numerous ways and
I am grateful to have heard His voice and to have been challenged in some good
good good ways. I’m still processing and praying about so much and I’m excited
at how God is moving in my heart. I can tell I will not be the same in my
identity in Christ, how I view the purpose of church, or the purpose of Jesus
followers in the world. As one of you so wisely said, now that these things have
been revealed to me, it would be pure disobedience to NOT act and continue
seeking what follow through looks like. I still have a list of books I want to
read, and I genuinely want to continuing exploring and praying through these
ideas. And yes, praying about my actions and what to DO with all of it. I’m
feeling all out of sorts about where I fit in God’s work right now, especially
given this season of life, but it’s a good thing, and I know He will lead and
provide ways for me to love people and serve Him. I’m committed to keep
blogging and thinking and praying and NOT FORGETTING.
At the same time (warning, this may sound like the whiny
pity-party part), I am 7 weeks away from a gigantic family transition, and
feeling emotionally thin and burdened by an all out messy house, a
not-yet-put-together nursery, tasks we’ve committed to help my mother-in-law with
this summer, pulling together my maternity leave plans while still desperately
praying I will be able to quit, supporting my husband in his roller coaster job
search and also the restructure in his current workplace, remaining connected
with friends, family, neighbors and random acquaintances and responding to
needs that God puts in front of me – which He has, which is awesome!… I’m
already (perhaps selfishly) feeling broken and poured out in these things. All
while trying to remember that God promises provision and really wanting to
trust Him and thank Him for the enormous blessings in my life. I have much to
be abundantly grateful for. But all of this emotional upheaval and the
spiritual rigor of clinging to trust is about as much as I can handle right
now; I just don’t have the bandwidth to add in going to great lengths to clear
out my house or reduce waste in my life. I suppose the media fast will be
forced on me considering a baby will be arriving soon. And maybe the Sabbath
month will work in some capacity, considering I’ll be up in the middle of the
night anyway. J I just don’t have it
in me to make huge accommodations and start (more) big projects.
I will faithfully continue to pray for each of you, and
would love to still hear how God is working through you in this adventure of 7.
And I do want to help with the garage sale (when is it?), and contribute to
other things that may emerge (community garden?). So please keep me posted so I
know how to pray and share your funny stories about finding friend’s wedding
invitations from 10 years ago stacked in boxes in your closets. J
And, as you read this nutty email, if God moves you to call
me out and challenge me to keep going, I promise to be open to listening. The
last thing I want to do is let myself off the hook and make excuses for why I
can’t be some radical girl who gives away 7 items each day for a month. I hate
thinking I am quitting. I invite the accountability if God so moves your heart.
Maybe this is just a surge of hormones these past weeks. I’ll be the first to
admit I’m a little crazy feeling.
Your crazy friend (and thank you if you read all the way to
the end of this),
Sara
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